Citadel Dinners Are Boring
by december.s-flower
Summary: MassKink prompt with handjob/bj involved.  Shep gets bored and decides to take matters into her own hands.  Rated M for sexual material.  Thane and everything else mass effect belongs to BioWare


Citadel. Citadel dinners. Council. Udina. Fancy dinnerware. And, of course, steamed varren. Booooorrrriiiing! If there was one thing Shepard hated most of all, it was wearing a dress and having to behave properly in front of people with too much time on their hands and too deep pockets. She glanced at Thane who seemed to be engaged in a rather deep conversation with some turian and sighed. At least one of them was having fun. She twirled the fork between her fingers while an idea formulated in her head. A terrible idea. An idea that would likely get both her and Thane in so much trouble they would never get invited to these dinners again. Perfect.

Smiling mischievously at Thane who gave her a concerned look in return, Shepard dropped the fork to the ground.

"Oops." she excused herself as half the dinner guests turned in her direction. "Dropped my fork."

Thane could tell Shepard was up to something. She never smiled like that unless she planned on causing trouble. He knew how much she hated these mandatory dinners and had no doubt that she was planning on not being invited ever again. He sent a questioning look in her direction and only received a smile and a 'don't say a word' look in return. This was not going to be good. And he was right in more ways than he cared to admit.

Shepard dove under the table as the guests returned to their dull conversations. Lucky for her, Thane was sitting right across the table so finding him was easy. She only wished she could have seen his expression, fighting for control. She cautiously crawled over to him and reached for the zipper of his leather pants. He always did look incredibly hot in those, every muscular curvature defined by the tight fit. Biting her lower lip to suppress a giggle, Shepard let her fingers slowly trail up his thighs. To her chagrin, the only response she was able to get from him was slight muscle tightening in his legs.

Shepard's touch came as a shock and Thane had to exercise every bit of self control to keep himself from jumping. His bodily reaction was pretty good. His facial, not so much. As Shepard's fingers deftly glided over him, it became increasingly difficult to keep a straight face. But he would not give her the satisfaction of winning. Biting back his arousal, he resumed the conversation with the turian.

_Damn him_! Shepard though with mild annoyance. He was better than she anticipated. Applying more pressure where it counted, she caressed his rising erection. To no avail. He didn't even flinch. It was time to get more physical. Grabbing the chair legs, she pulled him closer.

"Is everything alright, Mr. Krios?" the turian's voice rang in her ears.

"Ah.. Yes. Just.. adjusting my seat." Thane's reply came, a bit strained and Shepard smiled. She may succeed yet. Or not. She grimaced as he crossed his legs, gently pushing her away with one while nonchalantly continuing his discussion. _How dare he!_ If he wanted to play hard to get, Shepard was game. She could be more aggressive.

Thane suppressed a sharp intake of breath as Shepard unzipped his pants. What was she doing? And now, of all times! He tried to smile at the turian who was giving him an odd look but failed miserably as her tongue flicked along the tip of his shaft, sending a wave of need through his body. Gripping the utensils in his hands with as much strength as he could, Thane tried to regain control of himself. But the harder he tried to fight her off, the more persistent Shepard became.

"Are you sure you're alright?" the turian asked him quizzically.

"I..ah.. it must be the... heat of the room." he managed in reply, his voice a pitch lower. She was getting really into it, her tongue stroking his length, sending a shock through his body as it trailed over each ridge.

Shepard knew his every weak spot and was eager to exploit them. He was putty in her hands. Grinning, she stroked his length, wrapping her lips around him. To her joy and glee, she felt him shudder. Just the reaction she needed. Increasing her speed just a bit, she let her tongue do all the work, satisfaction and her own rising desire filling her.

It was too much. Shepard was too good and Thane had to admit defeat. With every stroke, with every lick, he went deeper and deeper into sensual oblivion. Every fiber of his body wanted to drag Shepard from under the table and take her right then and there. Damn the Council and their dinners. He bit his lower lip as Shepard's fingers joined her tongue. He couldn't last much longer. Throwing his head back, he allowed a small moan escape him, inaudible to other species. Thane didn't care at this point what the turian next to him thought. Scandal or no scandal, he needed Shepard. Now. Brought dangerously close to release, he was about to let go of all inhibition and 'drop' his own fork when Shepard suddenly stopped.

He was sufficiently riled up and it gave her a sense of satisfaction. Leaving Thane completely unzipped and unfinished, she picked up the fork and regained her seat.

"Found it!" she exclaimed, raising the fork up and giving Thane a wide smile. He smiled back in return and to any other guest, it would have appeared genuine. But Shepard saw through it. She saw the 'you won't get away with this' look in his eyes. And that's when the hallucinations hit. Beginning with fuzzy visions, everything got progressively worse.

"Is that...? Is that a tiny krogan dancing on your head?" she inquired curiously of the asari sitting next to her. Climbing on top of her chair, Shepard reached for the tiny dancing krogan and tried to catch him. He was so adorable! But he escaped her, jumping onto the next sitting guest's head. She wanted that krogan and she will catch him if it was the last thing she did! Crawling onto the table, she proceeded to chase him from head to head, eventually ending up in front of Udina who looked less than pleased.

"Shepard..." he heaved, his face turning purple. Shepard could almost see the veins popping out of his head and it made her laugh as red bubbles burst from his ears, popping as they floated to the ceiling.

"You are funny!" she grinned, pocking the angry adviser in the chest.

"This... is an OUTRAGE!" Udina bellowed, jumping out of his chair, sending it flying backward.

Before Shepard could cause more damage, Thane, taking advantage of the chaos, zipped himself up and grabbing her, ran for the exit.

"You are delicious..." Shepard voiced from his shoulder as her tongue trailed along his neck. "I wanna eat you up!"

As much as Thane wanted to oblige her, their first priority was to get as far away from the Citadel as possible. And never come back. Ever. Not that it was a problem for him. He found these dinners as boring as Shepard had and was hoping this incident would cause the Council to redact their future invitations. In any case, he could think of at least one thing he could do instead.

Taking Shepard up to her quarters, he exacted his revenge.


End file.
